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Bridges and Roadblocks: The Key Distinction Separating Those Who Succeed from Those Who Struggle

We just got through the biggest launch ever in our business for Experience Product Masterclass.

I (and the whole team) have learned so much in the past 3 weeks.  Over 23,000 people registered to watch the launch videos, and we had over 700 comments.  We’ve interacted with literally thousands of you via email, phone, chat and on webinars — and we’re so grateful to be surrounded by such an amazing tribe of people.

Interestingly enough, there’s been one thing that we noticed in interaction after interaction that I wanted to dedicate today’s blog post to.  And it’s a core distinction which I believe truly separates those who are succeeding from those are struggling in life and business.

 And that is… your choice of language.

Our words define our reality…

And you can either use words as a bridge that can help you get from where you are NOW to where you want to go….  Or as a roadblock so you’re constantly blocking your own path.

It goes for your interactions with other people too. You can use words can be a bridge to connect with your prospects, your customers and your tribe or as a roadblock that gets in the way of connection and intimacy, and prevents you from getting what you most want.

All of us use these destructive “roadblock” words at one time or another — when we’re angry or frustrated, stressed or overwhelmed… and mostly without even realizing it we undermine what we say we want, and what we wish for in life.

The danger is when you start to use the “roadblock” words on a daily basis to convince yourself of things that just aren’t true.

That you’re “not ready”.  That you “don’t have the money”.  Or you “don’t have enough time”.  Or pretty much any “reason” you can come up that prevents you from having the life you want.

And it’s an incredibly subtle thing…  so that’s why I’ve compiled this handy list of “bridge” words and “roadblock” words to print out so that you can become more aware of the way you literally speak yourself into success or struggle on a daily basis.

I am (resourceful, excited)
I am (as ready as I’ll ever be)
How can I? (afford this)
I will
I have (everything I need to)
I’m as ready as I’ll ever be
I’m committed to (moving forward)
I’m excited about
I love (making a difference)
I’m willing to (learn)
I’m grateful for .....
I love
I imagine
I am (broke, sick, disabled)
I’m not (ready)
I can’t afford this
I won’t
I don’t (have, want)
I’m not ready
I feel (stuck, overwhelmed)
I’m frustrated
I hate (marketing)
I’m not good at (technology)
I wish I had more
If only I had
That’s impossible

Over the last two weeks, we got long emails from people who were touched and moved by the Experience Product trainings we shared… and long excuses (full of “roadblock” words) as to why they couldn’t take the Masterclass and move forward in their business…

It’s like people were asking our permission to give up on their hopes and dreams….

And our standard response to these emails is:

Thank you for reaching out.

We’re so glad to hear you were moved and inspired by the training we shared with you.
We hear that you’re struggling right now and unable to move forward with your business in the way that you’d like to, and we appreciate you sharing your situation with us.
However, if you’re expecting us to validate your choice and give you permission not to move forward, we can’t do that.
At Live Your Message, we believe that you can create the life you want, no matter what’s going on….
We believe that there aren’t any valid excuses that can pull you away from living your highest, best life.
No matter what’s going on in your life, we’re here to support you in adopting a possibility mindset and shifting from “I can’t” to “I can”.
We’re here to believe in you even when you don’t believe in you.
As they say, what you focus on expands.
When you focus on problems, then you’ll have more problems. When you focus on possibilities, then you’ll have more opportunities.
We invite you to focus on the possibility and potential in your life in this challenging time.
Yes, you can.
Blue skies,
Shireen & the Live Your Message Team

So I invite you to become aware of the words you’re using… are you bridging to where you want to be?  Or are you blocking yourself from having anything more come into your life?

Are you focusing on problems?  Or possibilities?

Just like the famous cartoon, we all have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other…. and the choice is yours which voice you listen to.

And as my friend Tim Barsky the playwright always used to say: “How far up are you willing to let your angels carry you and how far down will let your devils drag you?

You can do whatever you set your mind to…

Now go out there, Live Your Message and don’t let anyone (most of all yourself) stop you from doing that.

Let me know in the comments your favorite bridge word or expression… or one a roadblock word or excuse you commit to let go of starting today?

P.S. If now is your time to Design, Market & Make (minimum) $2,000 from Your First Experience Product within 8 Weeks, there’s still a little remaining to join us in the Experience Business Masterclass … But you’ll need to be quick. Doors close finally on Thursday.

Love it? Hate it? Let me know...

  1. luisa zuccato Avatar
    luisa zuccato


    1. Marisa Murgatroyd Avatar
      Marisa Murgatroyd


  2. Des Coroy Avatar
    Des Coroy

    My favorite bridge phrase is, “Up until now…” The reason I like it is because it acknowledges the truth of an issue you may have had in the past however, the words are empowering because it acknowledges our power to create a new reality in the present with a different outcome…”Up until now I have been procrastinating about putting together my webinars however now I am truly inspired to move forward and create an experience that people will enjoy, complete and integrate into their lives”

    1. Marisa Murgatroyd Avatar
      Marisa Murgatroyd

      Oh! That’s a good one… thanks for sharing!

  3. Pip Cody Avatar
    Pip Cody

    When I catch myself slipping into roadblock language like “I can’t…” I challenge myself by asking “well… If there were a way… What would it be?”

    1. Marisa Murgatroyd Avatar
      Marisa Murgatroyd

      Love that one Pip!

  4. Wendy Mcghee Avatar
    Wendy Mcghee

    I am not sure what to think except to say that I have heard all the empowering speeches and inspirarional quotes (which I also use btw) and at the end of the day motivation does not meet everyday necessities. Some of us are truly struggling from tiny paycheck to tiny paycheck hoping to save enough for the big picture someday.How do we expedite our big goals? I have been sitting on a “golden egg” since 2004. At least i belive it to be so. And let me say its way past its incubation. I am ready to hit the ground running. HELP!!!

    1. Marisa Murgatroyd Avatar
      Marisa Murgatroyd

      I hear you Wendy. Sometimes we can’t get there on our own. The question is what are you doing? What support do you have? Who do you have to turn to for advice and guidance? Who are you surrounding yourself with? It’s not just about talk, it’s also about action and creating the conditions for your success.

  5. Virginia Reeves Avatar
    Virginia Reeves

    Such good points Marisa – thanks ! I also like that phrase: Up until now…
    I read another one earlier to the effect of: I can figure out a way to do this, it will happen.
    My own favorite is: permission granted today (and every day).

    1. Marisa Murgatroyd Avatar
      Marisa Murgatroyd

      I like that phrase too! Thanks for sharing! 🙂

  6. Nick Arden Avatar
    Nick Arden

    You are so right, Marissa! We used to use the expression “hung by the tongue” but that’s too negative
    I try to (no – there is no trying, just doing) live every day as a wonderful day, which is how I close every email. This comes from the 3rd Century Indian philosopher and poet, Kalidasa, who said “Yesterday is but a dream and tomorrow only a vision; but today well-lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness and every tomorrow a vision of hope.” So …
    Live a wonderful day,

    1. Marisa Murgatroyd Avatar
      Marisa Murgatroyd

      Beautiful quote Nick! Thank you for sharing it and you’re absolutely right. 🙂

  7. Will Avatar

    Here’s a very simple way to empower your thinking – stop asking yourself “can I” and start asking “how can I”. This makes your brain act in a totally different way!

    I really like your material BTW.

    Will Offen

    1. Marisa Murgatroyd Avatar
      Marisa Murgatroyd

      This one is a personal favorite. And thank you…

  8. Don Avatar

    Thank you, thank you, thank you – these insights you have just shared with us all are a Masterclass in how we experience ourselves – expressing for financial success or for financial distress.

    The company we keep in our thoughts, word, deeds and the people we mix with are the litmus test of our experience of success.

    Aaah I cannot wait for the day when I shake your hand and look you direct in the eye to thank for opening up new panoramas of experience for us to share with others.

    With love, thanks, appreciation and gratitude – Don

    1. Marisa Murgatroyd Avatar
      Marisa Murgatroyd

      Aww. Thank you Don! I agree and look forward to meeting you soon.

  9. C. Merwin Avatar
    C. Merwin

    I thought of your blog post when I just received an email from a friend (in response to a suggestion I had made to her of a resource I thought could help her) when I saw in her response both “I can’t afford it” and “thanks, but it won’t work”.

    What do you think of this possible reply…
    You can acknowledge the truth of your situation, not choosing to go into debt, or not choosing to spend money on something (we all do that every day) AND it is much more powerful to say, “I’m committed to living within my means in my current circumstances” or “I’m excited about doing this when I feel the “internal YES” in the perfect timing” or “I’m willing to consider it and figure out a way to do it if I decide she’s the right fit to help me”.

    Would these acknowledge the truth of her situation and also reflect a possibility mindset? Is this a possible reframe from a fear & lack mentality to a hopeful & abundant mindset? It seems like anything would be be better than “I have no money” or “I can’t do this” or “it won’t work”. What my friend also missed in her swift rejection was that the person I referred her to offers a 30-minute free coaching call, and who knows what inspiration and help/support/useful idea she would receive in 30 minutes of conversation with the right person.

    Thanks for your videos and interesting blog posts.

    1. Marisa Murgatroyd Avatar
      Marisa Murgatroyd

      That’s a tricky one. I guess I would talk to them and see how committed they really are. And if they are committed, help them brainstorm ways they could afford it.

  10. Carol-Ann Marshall Avatar
    Carol-Ann Marshall

    My favourite ‘bridge” phrase is: “Damn the topedoes, full speed ahead.” (Admiral Farragut) The idea is to blast through the roadblocks no matter how big, imposing or frightening they may be.

    1. Marisa Murgatroyd Avatar
      Marisa Murgatroyd

      Lol lol lol. That’s hilarious!

  11. Debbie Burton Avatar
    Debbie Burton

    I was one of those people who sent you an email about how I couldn’t afford your product, and I received this particular email back. I’m so glad you sent it.

    It made me rethink what I was doing and I actually reached out to an employer of mine and asked for #2000. She gave me the advance, I signed up and am thrilled to be starting the Experience Product Masterclass.

    I am also copying the email for future reference to create my own version when I start getting emails from prospective clients that say they can’t afford my trainings.

    Thank you Marisa and team!

    1. Marisa Murgatroyd Avatar
      Marisa Murgatroyd

      You’re welcome Debbie! I’m so glad you found a “how can I afford it?” way to join us in the Masterclass! Full speed ahead… 🙂

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